I want a movie about a little girl, aged like 11-12, going through the struggles of prepubescent girl life, with her entire inner monologue is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson.
Shot of disgruntled adorable little girl.
SLJ: I knew that Susie was a backstabbin’ motherfucker, and if anyone was going to ruin my chances of being Miss Sugar Drop Queen, it was that asshole.
I didn’t know I needed this in my life until now.
This is never not funny
Going to a goodbye/ good luck lunch with a bunch of work buddies for that nurse who is leaving our unit. Last night was her last night. I’m going to miss her a lot, annnd she was the only other one below age 30!
But I am working most of her shifts till November, so there’s that.
Honestly what the hell is going on with the NFL lately? Stop beatin’ up your wives and kids! Stop taking drugs! Stop killing people!
I wish I could explain to you the hyperactivity of my bowel sounds. Nursing students would have a field day with my GI assessment, considering it may take up to 5 minutes to hear normal bowel sounds on a healthy adult.
The minor league baseball team in my hometown switched from being associated with the Twins to the Rockies today.
With a surprise release after several years titled: “I’m full of shit, they are all lies. Help Me.”
I think I’m going to write a book called “‘Four Hours Is Definitely Enough Sleep’ And Other Lies I Tell Myself”
And the sequel, “’Coffee and sleep are exactly the same’ and other things I’d like to believe”